


the fight for you is all I've ever known

by silverinerivers



Series: what we found along the way [1]
Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Development, Character Study, F/M, Gen, Introspection, Reflection, Series Finale, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22948330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverinerivers/pseuds/silverinerivers
Summary: He was happy with that, until he wasn't, and it felt so human.It makes as much sense as Jeremy Bearimy to Jason surely, the kind of journey he's gone on.(Six perspectives, as inspired by the finale).
Relationships: Chidi Anagonye/Eleanor Shellstrop, Jianyu Li | Jason Mendoza/Janet (The Good Place)
Series: what we found along the way [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704634
Comments: 11
Kudos: 61





	the fight for you is all I've ever known

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Come Home" by OneRepublic.

i. Jason  
  
It's enlivening, being able to cycle through all his crazy dreams. Walk through a door and go-kart with any animal, catch Pokémon for real, dance with a squad of ten million.  
  
Almost immediately, it got old. It became boring and disappointing, but Jason took it as a challenge instead to do better, find better, _make better._ Strange games of his own creation entertained him endlessly but slowly, instead of creating new bizarre combinations of activities and people to do it with, he found joy in perfecting the ones that were already there.  
  
There were little things which grew from being okay with slowing down. Bright mornings with Janet, when the sunlight shone as softly as his heartbeat, dinners with Donkey Doug and Pillboi where they tried everything on the menu (it’s great not having to pay for things in heaven). Little victories, like the reverberation of his high-fives with Eleanor, the surprise flashing across Chidi's face when Jason finally remembered the word "metaphor", the warmth of baked goods and hugs with Tahani every time she crossed off an item off her list. He was always excited to hear Michael’s latest plans for the Good Place, until he wasn’t anymore. When the moment came to say goodbye, Jason was all set with no reasons to look back.

So, when he loses the locket, it’s beyond frustrating. Janet’s smile and touch are so reassuring, but it doesn’t help Jason in the slightest. It isn’t the right ending for them. He’ll find it, and he’ll make it right, leave a piece of himself behind for the best “not-a-girl” in the world no matter how long it takes.  
  
It's all good.  
  
He has time, and he can wait.

ii. Tahani  
  
It was never that she didn't care about the people she helped. There would have been easier ways to earn her parents' approval and adoration if so other than charity. It was because she genuinely cared, that when that pressure went away, Tahani felt liberated to create change without having to look over her shoulder, hoping, _praying,_ someone was watching.  
  
She could do anything, all for herself, and she does. She gets over herself and learns to burp the alphabet, she creates and then crafts a new musical instrument (and doesn't name it after herself), she wears _overalls for the first time._  
  
Everything is new and fulfilling and she is at the top of the world. Who's to say she can't do what she said she loved to do in the first place? Help people, genuinely help people with her own hands and mind. She had upgraded every weapon in her arsenal for a purpose, one she only finds as she's ready to say goodbye.  
  
So Tahani becomes the first human architect of the afterlife, because she wants to, and she _can._

iii. Chidi  
  
Maybe the indecision that plagued his life always just needed a little bit of a push (or a scream, or a lecture or two or a few thousand) in the right direction from someone who knew better. Maybe that someone was himself, lifetimes ago, ad nauseam. Maybe his life on Earth did not pan out the way he thought it would, full of hurdles composed of long thesis titles, exasperated exes, and friends who could not wait.  
  
Maybe it took going through hell and back several hundred times before he realized it, that despite all odds and coincidence, he was happy to go through it with Eleanor. Maybe she was the answer, illuminating him until he became a penumbra in the sky (but that's how she saw him too).  
  
Maybe having gone through all of that, he was no longer jumbled up with two left feet, a stomach ache that won't quit; all of the world's philosophical questions could wait. Maybe, peace comes in the shape of people who love each other in the best ways and the best versions of themselves. Maybe with all that, he never has to worry anymore.  
  
His life was full of maybes - paths he did not long for, a moral compass that led to rippling decisions he could not undo. He's always had doubts, if that was the right scone, the cutest puppy, the ethically correct thing to do.  
  
In his life, he's never known for sure, and deciding on an action without knowing for sure - that would be foolish wouldn’t it? It is only in his afterlife that he realizes it's okay even when you don't know. Because truly, no one knows what lies past the arch, maybe it's nothingness, maybe it's pure unbridled joy. But Chidi is ready no matter what; no more maybes.

0\. Michael  
  
As he sets up his new apartment, giddy with the new furniture and jiggly ring of keys he's obtained (and likely to soon lose), Michael thinks how crazy things turned out for him to end up here. From enjoying torture, to being bored of it, to trying something new, to failing at that something new, to pretending to torture, to pretending to have friends, to actually having friends, to sacrificing for those friends, to trying to change the system for those friends, to cheating the system for those friends, to finding out the system was cheating _them_ , to trying something new again, to failing at that something new again, to finding the answer in the nick of time, and being forced to _run that answer for eternity._ He was happy with that, until he wasn't, and it felt so _human._  
  
It makes as much sense as Jeremy Bearimy to Jason surely, the kind of journey he's gone on.  
  
It is only fitting that it ends with him being here, the opposite of an eternal being who switched sides and found the biggest loophole in history. Being human, so small and insignificant, and finding curiosity and joy in the little things.

iv. Eleanor  
  


The first thing she felt after Chidi left was loneliness. The second thing was surprise. She hadn’t expected to feel loneliness again; it was a weakness she convinced herself she had long converted into a strength.  
  
But being alone is not the same as being independent, and Eleanor knew that there was more to do.

She tried to fill the void inside of her, chasing her inner voice and pondering how she ever got here. From someone who never entertained the very idea of thinking of someone else, to not feeling _whole_ because she hasn’t helped _enough yet._ She’d gone full circle.

So, Eleanor goes out of her way to find Mindy, to transform Michael; she muses about the finished endings of everyone else who has already chosen their way.

There’s nothing left to do. There’s nothing left to hide, no system to uproot, no trick to figure out.

It’s nice, the feeling of completeness, not being on the run, trying to pull off one more thing so she’d be okay. It doesn’t matter now – she’d always be okay.

This must be what they all talked about, when you know. Which is why Eleanor floats between the line of indifference until she figures there’s no one left she needs to look after. She tells herself that it would be okay to continue enjoying the moments for herself – she deserved this, the Good Place – she fought for it and she _died_ for it (more than once).

But she doesn’t need to stay behind to prove that, to herself, to anybody. It’s okay that good things come to an end, and as Eleanor steps through the arch, she imagines this isn’t the end. 

∞. Janet  
  


She remembers everything, in a predictable Jeremy Bearimy.

She remembers the little things, cacti, pouring beers by hand, the thickness of the manifesto she had transcribed much faster than Michael. She’s terribly fond of both the old and the new Chidi (though to her, they were one at the same). She knows every celebrity Tahani has ever named and can tell her mood based off her choices. She knows now not to tell Jason how the Jaguars are doing unless he specifically asks three times, because he needs to convince himself he really wants to know. She’s memorized the exact angle of Doug Forcett’s smile, the exact black of Bad Janet’s leather get-up (the purest black), and she’ll never forget Jason’s butt.

She recalls the faint tugging of her heartstrings every time Eleanor asked her a question that did not have a good answer, one that she could not reach into her database and deliver knowing it was the objective truth (even now, she still did not like the feeling of not having _the_ answer). She remembers heartache in the form of a Derek; she remembers love, in the words “the reason is friends”, and wedding cake she could not eat.

However, the thing she remembers most clearly, is standing in the middle of an empty neighbourhood full of frozen yogurt shops feeling like she was brand new, standing next to an architect who had asked her in the beginning of all things to help him.  
  



End file.
